Knights Contract Review for Xbox 360

Plotting Points by Tan(x)
Video Game Reviews by a Very Busy Math Teacher

Game: Knights Contract
Platform: Xbox 360
Played For: 13 hrs

Knights Contract, the action adventure recently published by Namco, is completely derivative in almost every way. To say that other games of the same genre were more original, better executed and more integral to the development of the art as we know it is, well, academic. But not every game can rank as a hallowed classic that transcends the limits of its medium. A healthy, flourishing industry has its critical triumphs, but it has its other 95% of published works as well. So in this review of Knights Contract we’ll move past the unkind comparisons to games like God of War or, tangentially, Resident Evil 4. Instead let’s focus on evaluating our subject in its own area… a solid example of video game pulp fiction.

In Knights Contract the player assumes the role of Heinrich Hofmann, an executioner cursed with eternal life for his part in the unjust slaying of a bunch of powerful witches. Heinrich encounters Gretchen, one of the witches he beheaded 100 years previously, who is back from death, styling in a new body and on a quest to stop her newly undead sisters from enacting vengeance on humankind. Heinrich and Gretchen are also aided in their journey by Minukelsus, a diminutive alchemist sporting a full medieval “beak doctor” ensemble.

Being incredibly naughty throughout the game is Dr. Faustus, who apparently unleashed the black plague on Europe and then had the witches framed when everyone’s buboes started bursting. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he then brought the witches back so that they could wreak their own vengeance on the poor suffering human rabble. No doubt chortling in his super poofy scarf, Faust went even one better and also unleashed an armada of alchemically manufactured monstrosities. He didn’t even bother to finish these up, so instead of looking like people these so-called homunculi all resemble Earthworm Jim if he ever died from eating too much beef jerky. Interestingly, heroine Gretchen’s new body is also a homunculus, but made by Minukelsus who, Gretchen explains, “has a sense of aesthetics.” So from this we can deduce that Faust could have had an army of comely women if he had been so inclined, but his tastes ran instead in the super meat boy direction. This villain’s not just bad… he’s really weird.

The setting and many of the names in Knights Contract are borrowed from the German legend of Dr. Faustus, popularized by Marlowe and Goethe. A classic deal with the devil narrative, Faust strikes a bargain for eternal life and unlimited wishes, so long as he never experiences a moment of complete satisfaction and happiness (anyone remember Angel having that issue in Buffy the Vampire Slayer?) Faust, being human, immediately decides to use his new powers to seduce a pretty village girl named Gretchen, but in doing so he unintentionally manages to destroy her and her family, and he is wracked with guilt thereafter. While the Faust of Knights Contract has managed to destroy Gretchen’s “family” in his quest for ultimate knowledge, the similarity stops there. While I enjoyed the vague link between Dr. Faustus and this game (mostly because it gave me an excuse to look up the classic drama once again), others may find it to be merely pretentious, an attempt to add gravitas where none exists. Knights Contract definitely takes itself too seriously.

On the plus side, controlling Heinrich and Gretchen is intuitive and easy. Heinrich is a plodding thick-necked tank who swings a ponderous… er, bone and metal scythe/hammer hybrid thingee. What ever happened to carrying a good old mace into battle? Holding down RB and pushing a button commands Gretchen to unleash one of her magical attacks in the general direction that Heinrich is facing. You can win battles using weapon or magic exclusively, but there is a definite sweet spot when the two combine correctly to completely devastate a group of foes. Your fight performance is constantly ranked by some mysterious Japanese formula, so higher grades like S+ allow the player to collect more souls with which to purchase upgrades. By souls, we’re talking more the Shinto concept of spirit here, as rocks, chairs and other inanimate objects also erupt in soul energy when Heinrich acts like a bull in a tea shop (which is all the time).

The one deficiency in the standard game play is Gretchen, who is in constant need of healing. If she dies, it is game over, so it is imperative to have her hop into Heinrich’s arms as frequently as possible. For some convenient reason Gretchen regains HP while her knight holds her aloft, so there will be many times when Heinrich comically runs in circles avoiding enemies while holding a ridiculously at-ease Gretchen. Gretchen will sometimes be dumb about moving out of the line of fire (specifically on one level with lots of magma pools on the ground… Gretchen likes to stand on them and burst into flame) but protecting her was generally an acceptable task.

But now we come to the game’s Achilles heel, the bad design decision that will have you yelling and cursing at your TV screen. Not surprisingly, the frustration is caused by the dreaded mechanic of Quick Time Events. In Knights Contract, the boss battles are appropriately climactic, visually exciting and mostly balanced in difficulty level. Sounds great, right? But the first inkling there might be a problem is the sheer length… each boss monster has something like eight or nine bars of health to hack through, so you’re looking at a ten minute commitment for each fight without mistakes. That still wouldn’t be too bad… but at the end of the battle you are launched into a series of QTEs that give you almost no time to react… and if you fail any one of them you have to fight the last three bars of health on the boss all over again.

This is doubly, triply, quartically annoying for the facts that 1. the finishing movie for each boss is impressive and exciting and you won’t be able to watch it because you’ll be concentrating on where the A button is on your controller so you don’t miss the next button push and 2. each boss has an instant-kill option that can send you back to replaying the whole fight from the start, and they tend to use it on you after you’ve failed a QTE and 3. bosses can also sometimes instant-kill you by a random bug or by knocking you out of the ring and 4. QTEs sometimes require wiggling the throttle back and forth in a specific direction and if you don’t do it in just the right way you fail. It is one thing to have QTEs that you have to retry over and over to overcome. It is a whole new world of hurt to have each attempt at the QTE need to be earned by 5 – 10 minutes of repetitive game play.

But the truly devilish thing about Knights Contract is that it is just good enough to keep you going forward. While most of the environments are a bit on the murky side, the final Walpurgis night levels are very pretty. The opponents are often cool monsters that are genuinely fun to bash (although the first encounter with the gold knight was another test of extreme patience.) There are also lots of things to collect like journal entries and new abilities, although finding some is a matter of guessing which identical tunnel won’t jump you into a boss fight and end your exploration.

Repeat levels (except murkier than before), stale dialogue (sample: “You did all this [meaningful pause] just for that?!”) long load screens and an incomprehensible plot are all present, but there is at least one final shining gem that lies in wait for the player who makes in ¾ of the way through the game: Minukelsus. Sure, there’s also Gretchen’s very strange Witch’s Embrace attack where she turns big, blue and naked and attacks your enemies with various body parts… that part was really bizarre. But the most fun I had in the game was during the levels where Heinrich teams up with the little guy (no, the other one.)

Consider that Gretchen is only back from the dead because Minukelsus, a mere human, managed to design a flawless homunculus body for her to inhabit. Consider also that Minukelsus regularly delivers extremely powerful items into our heroes’ hands. Despite being ordered around and always being the subject of dismissive laughter, this diminutive hero never complains as he risks his life. But most interesting of all… Minukelsus is a better fighter than either Gretchen or Heinrich. Seriously, with his glowing magic sword, ice bombs and explosive grenades, and scary insta-kill sneak attack, this little midget is a cross between Sub-Zero, Chucky and Batman. You do not want to mess with Minukelsus… he is, after all, the true hero of the game.

If, before or after playing Knights Contract, you desire more information on what it was like in Europe during the Black Plague, may I recommend The Doomsday Book by Connie Willis. There’s also the Decameron if you really want to hit the classics… you may even be able to finish it in less time than it takes to replay the storm titan witch boss battle over and over and over again…